Hur bli immun mot fågelvirus?

.... genom ett långvarigt äktenskap med en skata

A dad is on his way home a bit late from the office when he realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he has not bought her a gift. So he stops at a toy store to buy his daughter a Barbie. Inside he sees a Barbie display and asks the salesgirl how much the Barbies are.

The girl responds: "Which one? We have:
Gymnasium Barbie: $19.95
Volleyball Barbie: $19.95
Shopping Barbie: $19.95
Surfer Barbie: $19.95
Disco Barbie: $19.95
Divorced Barbie:$299.95

Shocked, the man asks, "why is Divorced Barbie $299.95 when all the other Barbies are $19.95?"

Exasperated, the girl responds:
"Sir, Divorced Barbie comes with:
Ken's Car
Ken's House
Ken's Boat
Ken's furniture
Ken's jewelry
Ken's money
Ken's computer, and
Ken's best friend..."

R1 racer skrev:

.... genom ett långvarigt äktenskap med en skata

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Skatan frågar sig nog likadant ang sin mes till karl

2fast4hjo skrev:

Skatan frågar sig nog likadant ang sin mes till karl

Klicka för att visa mer...

hahaha ägd

2fast4hjo skrev:

Skatan frågar sig nog likadant ang sin mes till karl

Klicka för att visa mer...

Sant

god damn, ingen dålig vändning!

men passa er för talgoxen, den kan få både fågelinfluensa och galna kosjukan!

R1 racer skrev:

Sant

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Grattis i efterskott på bröllopsdagen

för jämstäldheten har kommit så långt så du sitter där o häckar medan du låter vara ute o roa sig.

CJ900RR skrev:

men passa er för talgoxen, den kan få både fågelinfluensa och galna kosjukan!

Klicka för att visa mer...

därför vi kvittrar så mycket, vi har svalt en taltrast

2fast4hjo skrev:

Grattis i efterskott på bröllopsdagen

för jämstäldheten har kommit så långt så du sitter där o häckar medan du låter vara ute o roa sig.



därför vi kvittrar så mycket, vi har svalt en taltrast

Klicka för att visa mer...

Fick detta som ett kul mail idag så har inget med skattor att göra själv.
Min är en pärla och jag klagar inte men här finns säkert en o annan som lever med skattor,mesar osv
Bröllop....nääääääääääää

R1 racer skrev:

Fick detta som ett kul mail idag så har inget med skattor att göra själv.
Min är en pärla och jag klagar inte men här finns säkert en o annan som lever med skattor,mesar osv
Bröllop....nääääääääääää

Klicka för att visa mer...

Ironin har drabbads av virus R I P

Rikta din sittpinne åt någon annan

En kollega drog den där med skatan på en firmafest, enligt uppgift var hans fru inte alls lika road av skämtet som alla andra runtomkring

There was this businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn't much like the idea of her screwing someone else. So he went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around. He thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another man for him.

He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter. He explained his situation. The old man said, "Well, I don't really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except -- " and he stopped.

"Except what?" the man asked.

"Nothing, nothing."

"C'mon, tell me! I need something!"

"Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is the 'voodoo dick.'"

"So what's up with this voodoo dick?" he asked.

The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box, carved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very ordinary-looking dildo.

The businessman laughed, and said "Big fucking deal. It looks like every other dildo in this shop!"

The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet." He pointed to a door and said "Voodoo dick, the door." The voodoo dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started screwing the keyhole. The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack developed down the middle. Before the door could split, the old man said "Voodoo dick, get back in your box!" The voodoo dick stopped, floated back to the box and lay there, quiescent once more.

"I'll take it!" said the businessman.

The old man resisted, saying it wasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $700 in cash. The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all she had to do was say "Voodoo dick, my pussy." He left for his trip satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone.

After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny. She thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she remembered the voodoo dick. She got it out, and said "Voodoo dick, my pussy!" The voodoo dick shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was great, like nothing she'd ever experienced before. After three orgasms, she decided she'd had enough, and tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgot to tell her how to shut it off.

So she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive to the hospital, quivering with every thrust of the dildo. On the way, another orgasm nearly made her swerve off the road, and she was pulled over by a policeman. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink. Gasping and twitching, she explained that she hadn't been drinking, but that a voodoo dick was stuck in her pussy, and wouldn't stop screwing.

The officer looked at her for a second, and then said "Yea, right. Voodoo dick, my ass!"