ninjabiker
Ny medlem
Här pratar vi bajs.
BAJS!
BAJS!
Stora bajstråden
- Thread starter ninjabiker
- Start date
- Status
Merovingian
Guest
Näe 
Richthofen
_-//Richthofen\\-_
skitkul!
Nollvision
Jag är min egen nemesis.
Var det inte nån här på SH som hade stekt bajs på en efterfest? Där lär det ju finnas en story för tråden.
MikkE
Guest
Sicken skit asså
BostonGurka
Bannad
Dung Beetle *aka RoLLER*:
[YOUTUBE-ID]1MZjZXYjMco[/YOUTUBE-ID]
[YOUTUBE-ID]1MZjZXYjMco[/YOUTUBE-ID]
Bushido
Skånsk Säckpipsninja
- Gick med
- 9 Sep 2006
- Ort
- Sydöst
- Hoj
- HD Ultra Limited - 19, HD Heritage Softail -03, Yamaha R1 -99, Yamaha RD350YPVS -83, Yamaha DT125LC -85, Kawasaki KV75 -78, Yamaha YSR80 -86
The dump list:
The Perfect Dump
Every once in a while everyone experiences the perfect dump. It's rare but a real thing of beauty. You sit down expecting the worse, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fart-less masterpiece that breaks the water with the splash-less grace of an Olympic high-diving champion. You use the toilet tissue to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right in the world and that you are in perfect harmony with it.
The Beer Dump
Nasty! Depends upon the dumper's tolerance and is the result of too many beers - doesn't matter if it was 2 or 22. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by an odious malevolent fog that could close the bathroom for days. Naked flames are ill advised.....
The Chilli Dump (aka The Japanese Flag)
Hot when it goes in and napalm when it comes out. It stays with you all day stinging yer ring and generally making your choccie starfish feel like the Shuttle's heat shield. Also makes your ass look like "a Japanese Flag."
The Empty Roll Dump
Relief - you've finished and reach for the tissue only to find an empty cardboard cylinder staring back at you. Panic overcomes you. You could use the curtains but then someone would ask "where are the curtains?" Use the rug? Nah, too bulky and cumbersome. You then come to the same conclusion that every "empty roll dumper" must face.....pull up yer kecks tighten yer cheeks and shuffle yourself to the nearest loo roll. Failing that you could always use your shirt-tail or one of your socks!
The Splash Back Dump
This one drops like a depth charge creating a column of cold water that washes your sphincter with a startlingly unpleasant shock. Now you're wet - and embarrassed if the column of water went half way up your back. Tip of the day: blot instead of wiping.
The Childbirth Dump
This one is just too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for this purpose. You sit there thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts (so bad you could swear it's leaving you sideways), and then gets no better. You sweat violently and wonder if you'll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf!" There are only three things you can do: 1. Scream 2. Call an Obstetrician 3. Hope to hell you've got some Vaseline to help you get through it.
The Machine Gun Dump
Best utilized in public conveniences. You sit there in sublime peace when suddenly you emit a group of noisy gassy bursts that break the tranquility like machine gun fire. The guy in the next cubicle hits the floor like a Vietnam veteran, cradling his umbrella like a M16....damn commies.
The Sound Effect Dump
You feel a noisy one coming on but relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot. So, you must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about to emit. Timing is of the essence. At the precise moment of release, try the following: 1. Flush the toilet 2. Drop loose change on the floor, 3. Sing the first two stanzas of your favorite opera.
The Cling-On Dump
You've finished but there's one damn morsel that refuses to drop. You grip the seat with both hands and wriggle. You twist and pump but the little bastard just hangs there, suspended, clinging like a canned peach between you and the water below. If only you had some scissors.......
The Whole Roll Dump
No matter how much you wipe, it just isn't enough. You blow the whole roll and have to flush at least a dozen times. The whole episode is consumer waste. Eventually if your toilet paper runs into minimal supply anything will do, towels, wash clothes, carpet, walls, whatever it takes.
The Encore Dump
Ahhh, you've done, so you wipe, dress, flush, wash hands and are about to leave the auditorium when you feel another dump coming on. You must therefore return for a curtain call. The world record is seven encores.....
The Houdini Dump
You go, you stand to flush and it has disappeared! Did it creep down the pipe or did you dream the whole thing? Should you flush? Oh yes as you can guarantee that if you don't, it will reappear and smile at the next person who comes in.
The Perfect Dump
Every once in a while everyone experiences the perfect dump. It's rare but a real thing of beauty. You sit down expecting the worse, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fart-less masterpiece that breaks the water with the splash-less grace of an Olympic high-diving champion. You use the toilet tissue to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right in the world and that you are in perfect harmony with it.
The Beer Dump
Nasty! Depends upon the dumper's tolerance and is the result of too many beers - doesn't matter if it was 2 or 22. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by an odious malevolent fog that could close the bathroom for days. Naked flames are ill advised.....
The Chilli Dump (aka The Japanese Flag)
Hot when it goes in and napalm when it comes out. It stays with you all day stinging yer ring and generally making your choccie starfish feel like the Shuttle's heat shield. Also makes your ass look like "a Japanese Flag."
The Empty Roll Dump
Relief - you've finished and reach for the tissue only to find an empty cardboard cylinder staring back at you. Panic overcomes you. You could use the curtains but then someone would ask "where are the curtains?" Use the rug? Nah, too bulky and cumbersome. You then come to the same conclusion that every "empty roll dumper" must face.....pull up yer kecks tighten yer cheeks and shuffle yourself to the nearest loo roll. Failing that you could always use your shirt-tail or one of your socks!
The Splash Back Dump
This one drops like a depth charge creating a column of cold water that washes your sphincter with a startlingly unpleasant shock. Now you're wet - and embarrassed if the column of water went half way up your back. Tip of the day: blot instead of wiping.
The Childbirth Dump
This one is just too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for this purpose. You sit there thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts (so bad you could swear it's leaving you sideways), and then gets no better. You sweat violently and wonder if you'll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf!" There are only three things you can do: 1. Scream 2. Call an Obstetrician 3. Hope to hell you've got some Vaseline to help you get through it.
The Machine Gun Dump
Best utilized in public conveniences. You sit there in sublime peace when suddenly you emit a group of noisy gassy bursts that break the tranquility like machine gun fire. The guy in the next cubicle hits the floor like a Vietnam veteran, cradling his umbrella like a M16....damn commies.
The Sound Effect Dump
You feel a noisy one coming on but relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot. So, you must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about to emit. Timing is of the essence. At the precise moment of release, try the following: 1. Flush the toilet 2. Drop loose change on the floor, 3. Sing the first two stanzas of your favorite opera.
The Cling-On Dump
You've finished but there's one damn morsel that refuses to drop. You grip the seat with both hands and wriggle. You twist and pump but the little bastard just hangs there, suspended, clinging like a canned peach between you and the water below. If only you had some scissors.......
The Whole Roll Dump
No matter how much you wipe, it just isn't enough. You blow the whole roll and have to flush at least a dozen times. The whole episode is consumer waste. Eventually if your toilet paper runs into minimal supply anything will do, towels, wash clothes, carpet, walls, whatever it takes.
The Encore Dump
Ahhh, you've done, so you wipe, dress, flush, wash hands and are about to leave the auditorium when you feel another dump coming on. You must therefore return for a curtain call. The world record is seven encores.....
The Houdini Dump
You go, you stand to flush and it has disappeared! Did it creep down the pipe or did you dream the whole thing? Should you flush? Oh yes as you can guarantee that if you don't, it will reappear and smile at the next person who comes in.
Last edited:
Starstriker
Som man googlar får man svar
Gissa bajset
(Ledtråd i bildnamnet)
(Ledtråd i bildnamnet)
Bush, som i George Bush?
Fick mig att tänka på:
[YOUTUBE-ID]gGxOSs5Hr8E[/YOUTUBE-ID]
BostonGurka
Bannad
[YOUTUBE-ID]Yuw_eiXC7Yo[/YOUTUBE-ID]
abethebabe
hungarianstallion
- Gick med
- 15 Jan 2006
- Ort
- Fbg
- Hoj
- GSX-R 750 SRAD -97, R1 banräcer, yamaha yz250f -02, kawasaki kx450f -08, zx9r -98
ninjabiker går från klarhet till klarhet
Whizkid
NMCK
- Gick med
- 14 Jan 2006
- Ort
- Klavreström
- Hoj
- Triumph Daytona T595 -97x2, Triumph Bonneville T120R -70, Triumph Sprint ST 1050 -06, Triumph Thruxton -04
bajs!bajs bajs!
Jörgen Karlsson
Gudomlig sporthojare
- Gick med
- 15 Mar 2006
- Ort
- ...på taket
- Hoj
- HD Flattrack Sportster -93. S&S/Karling 124" short stroke. 2040cc, Baker 6-speed.. mm mm
Blanco
Glad påsk!
När jag gick i byggplugget och var ute på praktik för länge sen så var det en stjärna i klassen som sket i en matlåda och stoppade i små svenska flaggor och stoppade in i den andra klassens värmeskåp i deras byggbod... Dom va inte så hungriga sen när dom väl öppnade värmeskåpet... 
Det var min bajshistoria...
Det var min bajshistoria...
Slowroller
Skrämmer små barn
Tack. Nu är jag inte hungrig längre. När ska jag lära mig att inte klicka på länkar. BAJS!
Jag fick en med kiss och tarmsaft. Vad fick du?Tack. Nu är jag inte hungrig längre. När ska jag lära mig att inte klicka på länkar. BAJS!
- Status
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