Face it, you're gonna have to go outside eventually. Sure,
Amazon.com will deliver right to your door and now even Taco
Bell does deliveries, but, mark my words: some day you're
going to HAVE to push away from the computer and go . . .
OUTSIDE. Here's a guide:
* Wear Pants - Countless attempts to better oneself have
been cut tragically short by leaving the house without proper
attire.
* Use Your Real Name - Sorry, but nobody will be impressed
if you go by the name "2HOT4U", "Monarch" or "SATAN666."
Names like "Steve" or "Greg" are just fine.
* The Telephone is Your Friend - Hear that ringing sound?
Pick up the phone. Now speak into it.
* If Your Car Crashes, You Cannot Simply Reboot It.
* Do Not Be Surprised That Nobody Looks Like Gillian
Anderson.
* Do Not Flame People - Comparing everyone you disagree
with to unclean primates will not win you friends. In fact, you
may get into a physical fight. If so, the next tip may be of
help.
* That Red Stuff is Called Blood - Not to be confused with
ketchup, blood is what keeps you alive. If you are leaking, the
real world offers human tech support in the form of doctors and
hospitals.
//\//\
Amazon.com will deliver right to your door and now even Taco
Bell does deliveries, but, mark my words: some day you're
going to HAVE to push away from the computer and go . . .
OUTSIDE. Here's a guide:
* Wear Pants - Countless attempts to better oneself have
been cut tragically short by leaving the house without proper
attire.
* Use Your Real Name - Sorry, but nobody will be impressed
if you go by the name "2HOT4U", "Monarch" or "SATAN666."
Names like "Steve" or "Greg" are just fine.
* The Telephone is Your Friend - Hear that ringing sound?
Pick up the phone. Now speak into it.
* If Your Car Crashes, You Cannot Simply Reboot It.
* Do Not Be Surprised That Nobody Looks Like Gillian
Anderson.
* Do Not Flame People - Comparing everyone you disagree
with to unclean primates will not win you friends. In fact, you
may get into a physical fight. If so, the next tip may be of
help.
* That Red Stuff is Called Blood - Not to be confused with
ketchup, blood is what keeps you alive. If you are leaking, the
real world offers human tech support in the form of doctors and
hospitals.
//\//\
