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Snart i någon skog nära dig!
Gick med
14 Feb 2006
Ort
Örebro-Län
Hoj
Yamaha MT-07 -23
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Pucken

Arbete ger frihet !
Gick med
7 Feb 2006
Ort
Top floor.
Hoj
Suzuki gsxr 750 -09 Honda Goldwing -77 , Ducati 999 Puccelione,Apillia Bastardo Tricolore,BMW s1000 rr -11, Sixten Cykel - 62
Skitsnack eller rövarhistorier ?
 

Bushido

Skånsk Säckpipsninja
Gick med
9 Sep 2006
Ort
Sydöst
Hoj
HD Ultra Limited - 19, HD Heritage Softail -03, Yamaha R1 -99, Yamaha RD350YPVS -83, Yamaha DT125LC -85, Kawasaki KV75 -78, Yamaha YSR80 -86
Skitsnack eller rövarhistorier ?

The dump list:

The Perfect Dump
Every once in a while everyone experiences the perfect dump. It's rare but a real thing of beauty. You sit down expecting the worse, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fart-less masterpiece that breaks the water with the splash-less grace of an Olympic high-diving champion. You use the toilet tissue to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right in the world and that you are in perfect harmony with it.

The Beer Dump
Nasty! Depends upon the dumper's tolerance and is the result of too many beers - doesn't matter if it was 2 or 22. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by an odious malevolent fog that could close the bathroom for days. Naked flames are ill advised.....

The Chilli Dump (aka The Japanese Flag)
Hot when it goes in and napalm when it comes out. It stays with you all day stinging yer ring and generally making your choccie starfish feel like the Shuttle's heat shield. Also makes your ass look like "a Japanese Flag."

The Empty Roll Dump
Relief - you've finished and reach for the tissue only to find an empty cardboard cylinder staring back at you. Panic overcomes you. You could use the curtains but then someone would ask "where are the curtains?" Use the rug? Nah, too bulky and cumbersome. You then come to the same conclusion that every "empty roll dumper" must face.....pull up yer kecks tighten yer cheeks and shuffle yourself to the nearest loo roll. Failing that you could always use your shirt-tail or one of your socks!

The Splash Back Dump
This one drops like a depth charge creating a column of cold water that washes your sphincter with a startlingly unpleasant shock. Now you're wet - and embarrassed if the column of water went half way up your back. Tip of the day: blot instead of wiping.

The Childbirth Dump
This one is just too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for this purpose. You sit there thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts (so bad you could swear it's leaving you sideways), and then gets no better. You sweat violently and wonder if you'll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming "Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf!" There are only three things you can do: 1. Scream 2. Call an Obstetrician 3. Hope to hell you've got some Vaseline to help you get through it.

The Machine Gun Dump
Best utilized in public conveniences. You sit there in sublime peace when suddenly you emit a group of noisy gassy bursts that break the tranquility like machine gun fire. The guy in the next cubicle hits the floor like a Vietnam veteran, cradling his umbrella like a M16....damn commies.

The Sound Effect Dump
You feel a noisy one coming on but relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot. So, you must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about to emit. Timing is of the essence. At the precise moment of release, try the following: 1. Flush the toilet 2. Drop loose change on the floor, 3. Sing the first two stanzas of your favorite opera.

The Cling-On Dump
You've finished but there's one damn morsel that refuses to drop. You grip the seat with both hands and wriggle. You twist and pump but the little bastard just hangs there, suspended, clinging like a canned peach between you and the water below. If only you had some scissors.......

The Whole Roll Dump
No matter how much you wipe, it just isn't enough. You blow the whole roll and have to flush at least a dozen times. The whole episode is consumer waste. Eventually if your toilet paper runs into minimal supply anything will do, towels, wash clothes, carpet, walls, whatever it takes.

The Encore Dump
Ahhh, you've done, so you wipe, dress, flush, wash hands and are about to leave the auditorium when you feel another dump coming on. You must therefore return for a curtain call. The world record is seven encores.....

The Houdini Dump
You go, you stand to flush and it has disappeared! Did it creep down the pipe or did you dream the whole thing? Should you flush? Oh yes as you can guarantee that if you don't, it will reappear and smile at the next person who comes in.
 

SJP

Lattepappa
Gick med
15 Apr 2007
Ort
Bland buskar & träd
Hoj
Tusenkubikade Falken & Vansinnesgrön plastmisil (i bitar)
Jahapp, sitter är och dricker nåra kalla & glor på lite film jag på andra datron.

Fantastiskt åskväder utanför fönstret med! :/
 

Bushido

Skånsk Säckpipsninja
Gick med
9 Sep 2006
Ort
Sydöst
Hoj
HD Ultra Limited - 19, HD Heritage Softail -03, Yamaha R1 -99, Yamaha RD350YPVS -83, Yamaha DT125LC -85, Kawasaki KV75 -78, Yamaha YSR80 -86
Kan nån länka till tyska "blocket" sidor som säljer hojar! Tack

Tyska Ebay?


Fan trött jag blir på jula, deras bandsågblad slets ner direkt när man testade tunn stålplåt... Och detta var blad avsedda för metall. Tycker att de åtminstone borde fixa tunn plåt:huvet
 

Ricken

Gudomlig sporthojare
Gick med
19 Apr 2004
Ort
Hemma
Hoj
RC8/Husaberg 450/Husqvarna 450/HYM698/Honda Monkey King/ ATC125//Navstyrd supermono
Bak däcket är ju ganska träligt att få dän när man inte har vättiga grejor :(. Blir nog en tripp till Biltema imorgon skulle jag tro.
Vänd på det, jag gissar att det bara är där nere som det dåligt med luft.

Vad heter dom där magneterna man sätter i eldosan i väggen innan man drar dit gipset så man barar kan såga ut hålet. Ni förstår precis, eller hur...

Vad heter dom där magneterna man sätter i eldosan i väggen innan man drar dit gipset så man barar kan såga ut hålet. Ni förstår precis, eller hur...

Magnethåltagningssystem, finns hos classe. Tack för hjälpen. :tummenupp
 
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Lindquist

TeamLindquist.se
Gick med
20 Mar 2009
Ort
Big City
Hoj
690 SMC-R
Vänd på det, jag gissar att det bara är där nere som det dåligt med luft.

Vad heter dom där magneterna man sätter i eldosan i väggen innan man drar dit gipset så man barar kan såga ut hålet. Ni förstår precis, eller hur...

Vad heter dom där magneterna man sätter i eldosan i väggen innan man drar dit gipset så man barar kan såga ut hålet. Ni förstår precis, eller hur...

Magnethåltagningssystem, finns hos classe. Tack för hjälpen. :tummenupp

hol in one
 
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