MotoGPnews version sammanfattning av testet. Lika bra som vanligt.
Pre-season testing – Sepang
Parallel universe: Farmboy has the number 1 plate and the S
(20/11/2006)
So the age of the Gelflin begins. The 800cc ‘Honda says let’s make these bike all safer’ are go. And these new, not quite as fast as they were bikes are now ready to roll and we have all made up our mind on who is going to be quick and who is going to be Ellison. The teams, having to respond to Honda making up more rules to their advantage have to catch up. MGPN rates the new runners and riders and sees how they go at the second testing session of the 800s, Sepang.
Honda
With Farmboy ‘Say what you like now, I’m a World Champion’ sporting the number one plate on the best bike that has ever been produced, since Honda’s last MotoGP bike, The Repsol team are certain favourites for next year. However, one of the fastest in the first session was Danni ‘I was a Gelflin extra in the Dark Crystal’ Pedrosa. Nearly everyone’s favourite rider (after her took out his webbed-fingered team mate out in Portugal) Thumbelina’s stunt double has adapted to the new micro bikes, designed for him, very well. He’s a favourite. Of Alberto’s.
However, Pedrosa was sitting out of the test as his tyrannosaurus-esq arms needed to be re-cloned, so Farmboy, like the last cousin left at the annual moonshine/marriage barn dance was on his own in Sepang
Other riders signed for Honda for 07 and at the test on their new tiny bikes were Fat Toni Elias (with a special, reinforced sub frame) now hibernating until his contract is up again (about Portugal next year); Carlos ‘I made Ellison worse’ Checa on Checinello’s brand new bike (apparently Lucio has a 200million Euro credit for spare fairings next year so they employed the next best crasher in the paddock: Careless Chucker) and former fast Honda man Taddy Okada, taking the new company car out.
Yamaha
Beaten this year, through having machine problems, rider errors and having Colin Edwards in the team, Yamaha have launched their new 800 bikes and are testing their new machines, developed solely by Ucio’s number 1 fan, Rossi. With The Doctor (as he likes to be called in those clubs) finishing a fabulous 11th in New Zealand Rally (a result that Ellison hasn’t managed in his chosen sport) it was down to Edwards and the rotten Tomato, Tamada to take the challenge to Honda. Quake in ye mighty boots HRC!
Suzuki
With the rather pleasant pairing of the wonderful Hopping Mad Hopkins and Vermin Vermeulen still at Suzuki, we’re all rather unsure what the great Paul Denning has up his sleeve for the 800 era. Some say that he has borrowed Jamie Whitham’s 1991 750cc BSB winning Suzuki, got a replica Rizla paint job and added a big bore kit. Others say that he’s sawn off one cylinder off his V4 990. These high-class rumours, spread about the fantastic MCN forum, although nearly true, were dispelled in a puff of Castrol R as day 1 ended at Sepang.
Day 1
Fastest during day 1 was the two Suzuki pairing of Vermin and Hoppers. Hang; on let me write that again. Fastest during day 1 was the two Suzuki pairing of Vermin and Hoppers. Famous for producing MGP bikes that are put together with noodles and Burgman engines, Suzuki appear to have ‘finally got it right’ with a one and two. With both riders (one cosmetically enhanced) now experienced. It looked good. Third fastest was Farmboy. Riding like a World Champion. He was ahead of Fat Tony, who only did 5 laps after he got a stitch from consuming the whole 3 days of food from Honda’s hospitality tent. Next up were the awesome Yamaha pairing of Edwards and Tamada. They were ahead of the old men of the class, lamenting traction control, telling their team to ‘jet down’ and ‘replace the piston rings’: Checa and Taddy.
The fun was cut short though for the first day, as a light shower sprinkled onto the track sending the teams to victory via their hotels.
Day 2
Something amazing happened. No, Kawasaki didn’t put their hands up and say that their team choice for this year is a garlic bomb waiting to happen; Suzuki was fastest again.
This time it was Hopper Happy Hopkins. The American when he’s doing poorly and Brit when he’s doing well Suzuki rider clocked a 2:02.7, just 0.6 seconds slower than Little Loris’ lap record. Dorna officials all then looked at Honda, with the question: I thought this was supposed to make the bikes slower? Vermin was second, a Hopkin’s ear lobe behind. Third fastest was Edwards, reinforcing Yamaha’s confidence in choosing him over ‘faster’ riders.
“But hang-on, I hear you cry! Where are the Honda’s? Isn’t that the whole point of this new capacity?” Well, you’d be right to ask this. Farmboy, the greatest American World Champion since Junior, was 4th, 1 second behind Hopkins. This is not in the script, prompting Honda’s top management to lodge a complaint that the bikes were all too slow and that the capacity should be increased to 990cc immediately.
A welcome return to the paddock (and I use that term ironically) was Oliver ‘Le Escargot’ Jacque. Returning to Sack-a-cacky to replace the rider he mugged for the 250 title, Ladyboy Nakano, the frantic Frenchman utilising a French lunch only managed 37 laps. He was 7th fastest, ahead of the Rotten Tomato and Taddy.
Day 3
The final day of testing and Honda were fuming! Suzuki, the jokers of the paddock (much to Randy’s disgust) have now got trackside serious, with Hopkins again fastest, reeling off a 2:01.6, just one second than the ultimate lap record, set by that curly-haired, former fast rally car driver.
Hopper has now almost made it into my MGPN fantasy race team for next year (I must beat Stuey, and finish higher next time) being a whole point 4 faster than his team mate. Again, shockingly, Edwards was third fastest with Hayden 4th. Farmboy, who is brilliant, then said it was the bike and rules that were working against him, and had nothing to do with his lack of speed.
What does this all mean? How will this affect the Championship? Will Hopkins win? Who knows! It probably means about as much as Teletubby language. But was fun to see Hayden being rubbish. And blaming his bike. Again.
