How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got
our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid
burned out bulb?
2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's
not up to code.
3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
4. Rottweiler: Make me.
5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
6. Flatcoated Retriever: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change
the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze,
please, please, please!
7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people
from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just
one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take
advantage of the situation.
8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off
the walls and furniture.
9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!
10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
11. Chihuahua : Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb."
12. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
13. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a
little circle...
14. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it.
By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.